You found me
by mesweetescape
Summary: Natsume's point of view on his life, how he see's things, his "theory's" more like sicknesses , his way of caring, and how he really feels about the darkness that engulfs him. NxM, T for safety - RXR.


**You found me.**

_Theory's and mental health._

Disclaimer: I disclaim G.A

The darkness is indescribable in vision, it engulfs you. You wouldn't see it, and that's exactly how you would know. In the depths of its darkness, a pain resides within you; it aches from the insides of your bones to the tips of your fingers. You are unable to move, unable to utter a sound and all you can do is wait and hope that someone can pull you out of something, that they, themselves can't see, hoping they don't fall into the darkness along with you too.

But even if he could scream and yell, the thought of someone else suffering in this darkness was too unbearable to do so.

-

Circles.

Endless pointless little things that seem to be the necessity in the daily attributes of mathematics. Circles, sort of remind me of something like, Mikan Sakura.

Or if you want to be more general, idiots.

Round in circles they go, aimlessly enjoying their "perfection" of things and stupidly thinking they were somewhat useful in the first place.

What's so perfect about this hell hole?

My best friend next to me starts stroking his pet rabbit lovingly, humming silently to himself as he listened intently on the teacher's lesson. Noticing my attention towards him, he turns to me and smiles gently. I nodded back in return, acknowledging his kindness and turned towards my manga. I plopped my legs onto the table and leaned heavily on the chair.

Thank god for backrests.

Apparently, I was so absorbed in the manga I was reading I didn't notice the bell being rung, the chatters of the class, the squeals and the giggles resounding from the stupid fan girls and the fact that a pig tailed idiot was poking me with incredible interest.

"What?" I growl, glaring at her. I placed my legs back down from the table and sit up to look up at her. "Well," she started in her Captain obvious tone. "The bell _did_ ring."

I stared at her, waiting for another reason but as there wasn't I shrugged. "And?"

"And?!" she snorted. "Well go to class?!"

Now, dumbfounded by her idiocy I sighed heavily. "We have class here next, you idiot."

Surprise seeped into her face like poison and she slapped her hand loudly onto her mouth, Ruka winced. She blushed a pink shade and turned away pretending to be busy with the books she had packed away.

"By the way," I mused. "What's so interesting about poking me?"

At that, she seemed to blush into a shade of red.

-

Her stoic best friend approached me before the bell for the next class rang. "Hyuuga." She murmured.

I looked at her, equally emotionless. "Imai." I said, inclining my head slightly.

"It's Ruka's birthday soon." She stated simply. I raised my brow and stood up from my seat still clasping the manga in my hand.

"Yes, I don't recall having amnesia." She sighed, a slight irritation on her flawless face.

"When dealing with you Hyuuga," she said "I do not need to be like Mikan and state the obvious, you know what I want so just spit it out."

I chuckled, pleased with her bluntness. "Stop the blackmail." Hotaru continued looking at me – stoic – no pleased with the answer. "There's this pet item in town that he really wants but he used it all on the pets. It's the most expensive item on the market."

She nodded, turning towards the door. "Thanks Hyuuga." I grunted in return.

-

I have always loved Mikan, incredibly idiotically, maybe that's what happen to those who loved her.

They turn into idiots. So I refrain myself from confessions to avoid more idiocy being spread throughout my whole body. Also, those who don't act like idiots around her – do not love her.

Thus, the idiocy theory was developed by the intelligent me, and now goes as;

"_Mikan Sakura is the source of idiocy, love her – and her idiocy flows through your body like the heart pumping you, keeping you alive. Once the idiocy is within you, you cannot live without it. Thus, causing you to be addicted to Mikan Sakura eternally."_

Her fans, aren't _those_ types of idiots. They can live without her, they can breathe without her, and to them she's like a candy – something totally unneeded in your life, but there for the fun of it. They don't know Mikan Sakura as I do, as Ruka does or as Imai does.

Hence the second theory comes to place;

The Fan club theory.

"_Those who suffer from the Fan Club Yheory, suffer from severe mental injuries where they are incredibly adorned by a certain person or group. The mental illness can cause such actions as, stalking or assault to the person's loved ones."_

* _Natsume Insert: People who suffer from fan club theory needs serious help and should consult the doctor immediately._

And I did.

-

"Natsume-sama!" Sumire cat squealed with intense passion. I don't acknowledge her, knowing she'd just get worse. "Oh, Natsume-sama!" she started, gaining a rhythm in her voice and body. She started swaying her hands clasped dangerously together swinging uncoordinately across the room repeating her undying love for me.

Once I had enough, I grunted and she spun around loves sparring in her heart.

"Yes, Natsume-sama?" She chimed loudly hurting my eardrums. I grab Ruka's rubber and throw it in her face. She falls onto the ground, looking sickly and old for a second and suddenly, she jumps up bouncing like energy and squeals even louder. "Thank you!" she murmured. "I knew you'd award me for all my efforts!" she then proceeded to kiss the eraser continuously that I began to see wet liquid spill from the eraser. I shifted, even if Ruka was to have the rubber back, he would never touch it, nor would I allow him to.

"You should go to the doctor." I said nonchalantly, flipping through the next page of my manga.

"Natsume-sama!" She said, "You knew I have a cold!"

I raised my brow, and glanced at her. "No, I think you need some mental help."

She looked sad for a second, but cheered up immediately.

"Aw, Natsume-sama…I know you care for me and all, but I really don't need any help, I promise, don't worry!"

I shrugged. "Your loss."

She giggled and ran out the door. "Natsume-sama cares!!"

_**Additional information; some force may need to be applied for certain people._

_-_

Whether you show tender love and care, or be like a wall towards a person, you will still love them. Even though, you may not love someone, you may care. But if someone, someone an incredibly small part of your life disappears from you, you will still feel like something's missing. Like the grocery man you buy your foods from, or the person you always see at the library. Maybe it wouldn't hurt as much if you didn't know why they suddenly disappeared, but like anything else – you would never allow yourself to bring them down into the darkness that had engulfed you, because in reality, you know that no-one deserves such treatment.

Even if you didn't think so for yourself.

* * *

**Please read and review, **

**Hope you enjoy my latest story.**

**xox , helplessly lovestruck.  
**


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